loveless

I remember a few weeks before Mira and I got married, various friends would say, "man, we gotta hang out this week before you're married and have no time," as to which I would reply, "stuff's not gonna change when we're married; we're still gonna be friends and hang out a lot."
I guess people act upon their stereotypes of people and situations, because it's ended up like that, but not on mira and my part. It's been weird to suddenly have no friends after 9 months; people we were really close to and care about being gone.
I don't want to sound like I'm complaining or whining; I think I've just needed to talk about it 'out loud' and haven't had a chance to get it off my chest. It's just weird never getting invited to things, never getting invited out to hang, or to have a beer with someone or whatever. We haven't stayed in all the time because we wanted to. We've just not had close friends anymore. I'm not sure what happened to all of them. All the people that we felt close to are in other worlds I guess; other close friends.

I guess God's just teaching us a lot on how to not depend on people or put our hope in them. That's super hard for me. I've always put a lot of hope and happiness in a tight friend circle. or music. or a billion other things. I guess I'm learning how to have hope in God, but it's honestly not very easy. God doesn't invite me over for beers very often, and when He does, sometimes our conversations are awkward.

Just praying for love and confidence in the cross and not in myself or others.
"It's ok to be lonely as long as you're free"
-Rich Mullins